Hope is Hard Work: Schizophrenia and Resilience- Hakeem Inspires (ep 62)

Hakeem Al-Zayyidi is an Islamic motivational and inspirational speaker. Hakeem is a graduate of Royal Roads University in Victoria, BC.

It took Hakeem ten years to obtain his four-year undergraduate degree in Business and Sustainability.

His heroes and those who have motivated him to succeed include Malcolm X, LeBron James, Mohammed Ali, and Elyn Saks.

Hakeem has been dealing with schizophrenia since his early 20s.

The path he has chosen is to highlight the plight, stigma, and stories of himself and others who have mental illness.

His fascination with all that is basketball mirrors his quest to take shot after shot in his mission to speak to the uniqueness of mental illness in this world.

Questions:

• Before you share your story, can you tell us what you most want our listeners to learn from you today?
• What is your mission?
• Tell us your story - about 10 minutes (we may ask questions as you go)
• What are your 5 basketballs?
• Does your Islamic faith help with your inspiration?
• What do you most want to inspire people to do?

Links:

https://hakeeminspires.com
facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/kareem.alzayyidi.96
Instagram/twitter - Hakeem Inspires!

Hakeem interactive speech

https://youtu.be/Lbw8NrlBKRU

Make A Change Canada Success story

https://youtu.be/YQLsZIp9oe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Sd4xm-gudM

Mindy and her book: https://mindygreiling.com/

Randye and her book: https://randyekaye.com/

Miriam and her book: https://www.miriam-feldman.com/

Hosts:

Who:

Randye Kaye - was a morning Radio Personality bringing humor to CT families when her own son was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Now she is still a Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (Ben Behind his Voices, Happier Made Simple)

Miriam Feldman -  is an artist, writer, and the mother of an adult son with schizophrenia. Her book, He Came in With It chronicles her family's story and was released to rave reviews on July 21st, 2020.

Mindy Greiling - Mindy Greiling was a member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. She helped found the nation's first state mental health caucus, which successfully lobbied for a significant increase in Minnesota's mental health funding Her acclaimed memoir is Fix What You Can.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

I hope you hear the words, you're amazing. I hope you hear the words, you're talented. I hope you hear the words, you are beautiful. I hope you hear the words, you are a champion, you inspire, and you got this, and whatever it is that you weren't true, whatever mistake, no matter how embarrassing, no matter how uh uh exciting it is, satisfactory, whatever the case may be, you are a champion and you inspire.

SPEAKER_03 0:30

Our guest today lives with schizophrenia, and he has turned his life and his mission into one to inspire. He says hope is hard work. Learn why on this episode of Schizophrenia, Three Moms in the Trenches. Welcome to our podcast, Schizophrenia, Three Moms in the Trenches. From the place where schizophrenia and real life collide. East Coast, West Coast, Middle America. With Miriam Feldman, Mindy Gryling, and Randy Kaye. Welcome to episode 62. We're calling this one Hope is Hard Work. And I think we can all agree that's true. Also, schizophrenia and resilience. Hakeem inspires with our guest, Hakeem, who, if you're watching on YouTube, you can see him right there. And we will let him introduce himself in a minute. But um, I do want to tell you a bit that we are three women with three families, three sons with schizophrenia, and three books that we've written about our experience. And we're all about advocacy now and helping others and helping each other get through the ups and downs of having a serious mental illness in the family. But I will say that, you know, we we admit this quite often. We're three white American women with Christian and Jewish backgrounds, and we want to shine the spotlight as much as we can on other countries and other faiths and other colors and other cultures, and and especially uh a shout out again to a fabulous new podcast by a friend of our podcast, and it's called Make Them Hear You. Mindy, you listened to an episode this week, did you not? I did, and it was fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

And I really like their subtitle, which is something like um black faces the same issues, you know, when when we have our different cultures, but when you get to the culture of mental illness and the mental health system, there's a lot of commonalities, you know, we're all the same. So I love that subtitle. But they had on there a um young woman whose mother had schizophrenia, and she was also a motivational speaker like our guest tonight. So um that was a wonderful podcast, too. And it's for specifically for uh Black people because there are issues that are different, like um you're apt to find a caregiver that you can relate to that looks like you, that is like you, or even your different responses with the police. You know, some of the things we've covered on our programs, but they they kind of have that in a little heavier dose on that podcast. But I found I related to the whole program. So I think it's it could be for anybody. It's a wonderful podcast.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

And as much as we try, we can't do it the way she can do it. And it's um Saban Muhammad, right? Yes, one of our former guests. So she's fantastic. She must have heard from us, right? So in in that spirit, um Hakeem, pronounce your last name for me again. Al Zayedi.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Al Zayedi. So A-L-Z-A-Y-Y-I-D-I. It's a hard name to Al Zayedi. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

Close enough. All right. Well, um, Hakeem has uh uh I I don't know how we found each other.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

I think through Facebook, I think you Yeah, I I was searching uh other podcasts and other like groups on uh schizophrenia because I live with schizophrenia, so I was just searching and that's how I found you. And you actually were pretty responsive, which is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Ah, well, we're we're very excited to have you on. We've gone back and forth, and I know we uh that you just left work. So, but we're gonna kick this off a little bit differently because Hakeem, you were going to ask us a question before we started recording. So why don't you ask us that question now and we'll kick it off that way.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Where are you all calling from? So, where are you all calling from?

SPEAKER_03 4:42

And then I'm I am in Connecticut on Eastern Time in uh New York. Mindy? I'm in Minnesota.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

We still have about a foot of snow on the ground and ice, and um, I'm calling in Central Time, and I'm on the West Coast in Washington State.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Nice, that's closer to me. So uh yeah, I'm working with someone from uh America, another person from America, and as far as I know, she's the only other person with um mental health issues, dealing with mental health issues and a substance abuse disorder, uh Metasola actually. Um, her name is Fahira, and uh, she inspired me to uh you know be the first person as a result. I was the first person to speak at the moss here in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

Wonderful. And you do have a YouTube channel, and uh with your permission, I might play a little bit of one of your videos to start off this possibility.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

I just uploaded uh my uh story up there on on there, actually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Awesome. So, what else do you need to know about us before we start grilling you with questions?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Um, so I was wondering during the conversation, maybe I can ask your experiences with schizophrenia too. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

No, that sounds perfectly cool, and I think we'll do it in one minute each because we want to get to you, but just so you know who you're talking to. So I'm Randy, and um, I have a daughter and a son. And uh my daughter is neurotypical. My son develops schizophrenia pretty typically mid-teens to late teens, very similar to you, I believe, hearing a bit of your story. And so I um he is 40 now, and the book I wrote about our experience actually came out about a decade ago, but an updated version is available as an audiobook, and it's called Ben Behind His Voices. Ben is not his real name, but that is the name we use. That's what he gave me permission to use as his name. So that's a bit about me.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Mindy, one minute on you. Jim, our son is um has schizophrenia, and he does have full awareness now, not at the beginning, but now, uh, like you do, of his schizophrenia. And he's doing really well uh for the last three years because he got onto closopine and he's become sober. We had a lot of trouble with him, but we're very pleased and proud right now. So um, and then I have a daughter who's two years older um who lives in Washington, D.C. And she's um she's a journalist. And by the way, before I forget, happy Ramadan.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Thank you. It's covered up. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Mimi. Hi, so I'm Mimi, and I'm a painter, and I have three daughters and a son, and my son, who's 37, has schizophrenia, and um, he's a painter also. And um, you know, it's been a long road, but right now he's also doing pretty well.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Okay, awesome.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

So that's a bit about us. I will read straight from your website a bit about who you are, and then we're gonna um we're so excited to have you tell us who's all right. So um an Islamic motivational and inspirational speaker, a graduate of Royal Rhodes University in Victoria, BC. It took Hakim 10 years to obtain that four-year undergraduate degree in business and sustainability. His heroes and those who have motivated him to succeed include Malcolm X, LeBron James, of course, Mohammed Ali, and Ellen Sachs, who um we know who she is, but the audience may not, so maybe you can explain that a bit. Hakim has been dealing with schizophrenia since his early 20s. The path he has chosen is to highlight the plight, stigma, and stories of himself and others with mental illness. And a fascination with all that is basketball, and that mirrors his quest to take shot after shot in his mission to speak to the uniqueness of mental illness in the world. So, welcome, Hakeem. Before you share your story, can you tell us what you most want our listeners to learn from you today?

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Well, I most want our listeners to learn from me. The reason my presentation is typically titled, Hope is hard work. Is because truly is hard work. Um yes, uh personal day may have schizophrenia. Can you guys hear me? A personal day may have schizophrenia, but everyone's upbringing, environment, um, you know, where they're from, background, and their experience with the illness would be different. And um, it's about meeting yourself, where you're at, and evolving. So it's not about uh where you were in the past, but where you want to be in the future.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

Wow, beautifully put. So um tell us your story, and we may interrupt you with questions because we're just three moms talking to talking to a nice young man.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

So my journey with schizophrenia did not just begin with just me. Um, I have a netico twin, and the reason I give my presentations with basketball is because from a very young age, me and my twin, and we grew up in Barbados before we moved to Canada, and um he he loved basketball too. We play Honor the Breadfruit 3 um and before we moved to Canada, and his name in Arabic is Karim, although his previous name was Renard, just to make me feel better because can I say trigger warning? Trigger warning, because uh he passed away unfortunately at the age of 26. He also had schizophrenia, so he developed schizophrenia at age 19 or was diagnosed at age 19, and I was diagnosed at age 28. We are dedicated twins, and uh my best friend is also dedicated twins, and we love the sport of basketball. So I use basketball as a metaphor metaphor for life for me, you know. Like I just feel like I keep shooting my shot, keep making mistakes in life, etc. So when I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia, um I had no idea I had schizophrenia. You know, that's a question I I keep getting asked. When did you know you have schizophrenia? When when did the signs show up? As a person living with it, to be honest, I never knew what signs were there. Um my step-aunt at the time, which she's really like my mom, basically to me, she noticed I was having unusual and erratic behavior. She noticed I was, you know, uh suicidal. She noticed I was uh, you know, uh saying weird things. I kept telling her the TV's talking to me.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

What age was it? So you your twin had was diagnosed at 19 and is still alive at this point. And how old are you when all this is happening?

SPEAKER_00 12:07

I'm 20.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

You're 20, okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Yeah, his his uh his symptoms were much more severe. He was uh uh uh having hallucinations, um, you know, taking nils or going through him, uh, things of that nature. Um at that point, I had no idea that I had schizophrenia. I was just like, okay. So my aunt eventually took me to the hospital after uh another suicide attempt. So she said, uh, we're gonna take you to the hospital. And uh I went willingly, and then I was involuntary capped at the hospital, and they eventually diagnosed me with schizophrenia. And um at that point I still had no idea what it was. I just took the medications, you know, and and uh was able to uh agree, I was agreeable, you can say, to uh the treatments given to me. Um looking back on it now, um, you know, it is a hard illness to to live with, you know, like it I still struggle. Um, you know, I don't know. Set looks different for everyone, but back then I was, you know, like in my own little world. Uh ooh, la la la la la, you know, like I don't know what's going on. So what had led up to me being in the hospital was I had a full-time job at uh what's called Pizza Hut. Uh uh Pizza Hut. And um I would show up for work on time before and all that, and then for some reason my how my health started deteriorating. I started forgetting possessions at work all the time, kept going back to work for my possessions. Um, I kept um, you know doing things that were not that were unusual at work, and as a result, eventually was let go from Pizza Hut. And at that time, um I didn't know how to swim. So I was trying to take swimming lessons, I was trying to get a driver's license, I was always trying to set a goal or have a career or things of that nature. So leading up to the hospital, I was also taking upgraded grade 11 English, upgrade grade eight math. So I was was uh, you know, trying, you know, like everyone else, trying to figure out because I would been playing video games prior to that all the time. That's all I did, and I had no no social life, I didn't have any friends, I didn't know how to communicate with others, how to do anything like that. So to approach someone and just to be their friend used to be a big deal for me back when I was uh a teenager. I had no friends in high school for it except for my indigenous friends. Um maybe played basketball every lunchtime, and uh that was about it.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

Um so let me let me just stop you for a second to just sort of focus this story because I I I'm curious. Obviously, and I I've seen some of your some of your videos, and you and your brother was so so cute. Um that if you maybe you can send me that that picture of you and your brother when you're like six or something, and I can put it on YouTube. Uh but here you are, you're 20, and your twin, who it sounds like has been your best friends, and many oh yeah, you know, many many twins have each other and don't reach out. I don't I think it's quite common.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yeah, but your brother has been at this point seriously ill with schizophrenia, and it sounds like not aware of it and going into the hospital and things, and yet you started there started to be behaviors in you, and there wasn't a part of you that said, Maybe I have what my brother has, or no, never, never, never, we didn't even think we had schizophrenia because at that time our even our own family or our own parents, like my dad and my stepmom was uh when my brother got dinosaurs, don't claim it, like you don't have it, right? So it was a bit of a it was a bit of a that that kind of thing. But then when I got dyno for some reason, we were going to show okay, maybe they do have it. But I lived with my stepmom, my step-add, which is her her sister.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Can you are you willing to talk about the suicide attempts which you mentioned?

SPEAKER_00 16:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so the first one, um I was in a really bad space, um, you know, losing losing my job and and and not being able to do the things that I normally do, like work out and and um you know, just constant anxiety and and and and depression. I I was kind of stuck. So I that eventually led me to the hospital. So um I I tried to back then, I don't I'm Muslim now, but back then I tried to drink whiskey and and and you know use a sewing machine somehow with a knife to go on top of my throat or something like that. Something something wild like that, but it never worked out. And my aunt uh took me to the hospital, and that's how I got help. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

Wow, that was really um traumatic, I'm sure, for the whole family. Did you know a lot of us, all of us were kind of broad-sided too? You know, my grandmother had schizophrenia. I grew up with her right across the street, and still I we didn't recognize this illness in our son, anyway, even with that background. And so many families don't have enough knowledge about mental illness, it's not talked about. And then the family has to do a crash course and get educated and try to figure out what's going on. How prepared was your family?

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Um, my my step-aunt, she was prepared because her partner, basically her husband, uh his brother had schizophrenia. He lived a very long time, he lived to about age 71. So, and that was another misconception. I I I was always told that if you have schizophrenia, you don't live very long. He lived a very long time, he lived to age 71. So she, and unfortunately for her, she also has a disability. She's an object, but she has a psychology degree. So she used the signs, right? And they and you went to see when someone are having systems of schizophrenia.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I think sometimes, you know, the reason people don't live as long is because if they aren't don't have a healthy lifestyle, if they're not taking care of themselves, they're smoking a lot, they're using illicit drugs, they're on the street. Those are the things that I think cause people to die early more than the actual illness.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

So where you are now, it's it it sounds to me like once you got awareness, you willingly went on medication. And although we still know that's not perfect and it's not a hundred percent cure, but you turned to omission. So, can you tell us a bit about like where you are now? I mean, do you hear voices anymore? Do you have to sort of I still have delusions?

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Yeah, so it's been a process, that's what it's called, hope is hard work. So essentially um it took me 10, seven years to get a marketing diploma, and then another additional three years to get my degree, and in between that I lost my identical twin, right? So essentially, when I was first uh taking college courses, um my English professor helped me uh with my English course because my grammar and spelling are still is still terrible today. Um normally grammatically incorrect. Uh I still have a lot of anxiety. I still have depression here and there. Um so back then, my professor told me an inspiring story about Malcolm S who turns out to be Muslim and how he couldn't read and write in order for me to pass in this 151. I kid you not. I was on the verge of failing this class, uh, I think a third time or fourth time. And she was like, No, you're not gonna fail this time again. I'm gonna sit with you and we're gonna figure this out. So um it went from there, um, you know, over a period of time, you know, I eventually accepted I have schizophrenia, um, and I started taking my medications properly. In 2017, I started taking my medications properly after I graduated with a marketing diploma. Um, my previous partner, which is my previous wife, she taught me a lot about psychology and things of that nature. So she taught me a lot about my illness. She has a PhD in psychology, so I learned a lot about gaslighting and you know, things like narcissism and things of that nature. And I became very curious about uh you know psychology part because uh for me and my illness, I know I don't regulate emotions properly and things of that nature. So, how do I fit that into uh my life? And you know, I'm uh trying to learn how to be responsible financially despite having a degree and things of that nature, like it's never ending with this illness, like there's always something, right? So even after the degree, um you know, I divorced and then I went on to uh you know try and start a business, a motivational speaking business, and now I'm trying to turn it into nonprofit because I realize uh the importance of what I'm doing because of uh my faith. They don't take mental illness seriously and and they're so afraid of it.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

So can you tell us a little bit more about that? That's very interesting because it's it's those cultural differences can make yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

So my mission is is to not for me to empower people, but to for people to to empower themselves, right? So take ownership in you know their you know their failures, successes, and things of that nature. So it's not just geared towards my faith. So over a period of time as a speaker, I speak to non-um Islamic audiences and I've catered my speeches to non-Islamic audiences, but I really focus on my faith also because um people with mental illness are typically seen as jinn possessed or a curse from Allah, which is God in my faith, basically the Arabic word for God, and seen as people that are incapable of being positive contributors to society. So uh I saw that and I said, you know, like I want to help create awareness to create that change. And as a result, me and the BC Schizophrenia Society, which is the local um schizophrenic society for people with schizophrenia, one of the biggest organizations in BC for people living with schizophrenia. We are hoping that we could convince the mosque to light up uh light up the local mosque where I live, purple for World Schizophrenia Day on May 24th. Um, I already got the conversation going by getting the BC Schizophrenia Society to be present when I presented at the mosque. I kind of screwed up because um I uh I was supposed to tell other stories because they're not as outspoken about mental illness. And um, you know, so I I kind of like went went a bit sideways in terms of trying to you were supposed to tell the stories of other people who have schizophrenia, so it's not just a lot of not just schizophrenia, but mental illness, psychosis. They gave me, they text me, they messaged me, and and email me and and whatnot, and and then Facebook me and to share their stories.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Oh, they asked you to share to share their stories. That happens to us sometimes as well. So just so I'm clear, in in the Islamic faith, uh the attitude towards serious mental illness is not accepting.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Yeah, so mental health, let alone mental illness.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

So so you instead of leaving that faith, you it sounds like you've made it your mission to change their minds.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Not necessarily change their minds. Uh I want to create awareness so others are feeling supportive.

unknown 26:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

So I used to talk to the local. So I talked to the Imam and he's interested in mental health now. He wants to focus from it, and in my face, it's very it has to be from an Islamic perspective, secular Islamic perspective. It can't be from a outside perspective either, right? So they try to focus on that. So there have been a lot of mental health seminars lately, which is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

That is cool. Can you tell us about the five basketballs? That sounds very interesting.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Yeah, so the five basketballs, like I was saying earlier, um I came up with a basketball concept with my coach because he knows I love basketball. And he said, Why don't you use mini basketballs in your speeches? I was like, What? That doesn't make sense. How would that go over? So uh virtually and in person, I would troll a mini basketball. And um last time I really had fun with it was in November when I was at the Canadian Mental Health Association um summit for mental health, and I tossed it, and the middle schoolers they just they kept going. We asked them how you're feeling today. So the basketball can be whatever it means to that person in that moment. So my personal five basketballs, I call them my personal five because these are things I struggle with. So delusional grandeur. So I'm going back to that psychology thing before. So I don't want to be a narcissist or you know, someone that um is not empathetic, you know, and things of that nature. Like I worked for a nonprofit before my prior job and working with other people, not just schizophrenia, but all sorts of mental health issues, and that was overwhelming for me. So I I learned that I want to be more empathetic, and uh delusional granor is part of schizophrenia. Like you might think that you know you're the leader of the United States or something like that, or you're or you're a religious leader, things of that nature, or uh you might you know disregard others' feelings and stuff like that. So I'm really drawing in on you know the gaslighting and and and and uh college behavior therapy and things of that nature.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

So I really so that so the the first basketball is delusions of grandeur, which is often a symptom of the first basketball is delusions of grandeur, and I really hone in on that one because my faith helps with that one because it's all about humility and modesty and being humble.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

So the second one is anxiety, so I deal with that uh a lot. I have social anxiety, I have lots of friends and family and whatnot, but I have social anxiety. I spend most of my uh time by myself, and um and you know, like I get anxiety just to pass a test, just to get a job, or just to um, although I work for the government now, my previous job was Ministry of Finance for BC Canada, and um my new job is at the legislative assembly, and I'm meeting all these MLAs and and things of that nature, members of the legislative assembly. I don't know what they would call it in America, but um for the states.

SPEAKER_03 29:29

I don't know, but it sounds exciting, and I'm just I'm just I want to hear the other three basketballs, but I'm just yeah, I just you're doing the hard work. Oh my gosh, you uh you know when you say hope is hard work. I I I am in awe of of your resilience, of your you it if I failed something two times, I don't know that I don't have schizophrenia, and I don't know if I would take it a third time. Like that's amazing. Do you know that that's I know you're supposed to be, I know it's humility, so maybe I shouldn't it's really hard, really, really difficult.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

So uh the next one is depression. So I get depressed a lot and and whatnot, especially when I fail, and I still screw up to this day, and I wish there was a cure for schizophrenia, and to be honest, although I'm a motivational speaker for it, and uh there's none, so I just know I have to live with it, and and um even when I think I got ahead in life, I actually not really ahead. I'm actually back to square one, it feels like, and that's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Um, yeah, I'm I'm so impressed with you as well. By the way, in the United States, we have some states have um legislators and others do have assemblies, like Wisconsin has an assembly, Minnesota, where I am, has a state legislature. I wanted to ask you when you have um that first uh basketball with the delusions. My son, you mentioned sometimes the delusion of um a religious leader or something. Jim Marson has often thought he was Jesus Christ, or someone's mother I know um thought that she was the maternity of Mary and so forth, the mother of Jesus. When you have delusions, do you do they come out in the Muslim faith with who you have delusions about?

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Uh no, I never think that um Prophet peace be upon him, Allah, or I never think that I'm an Islamic leader. So back back then, uh if my illusion ground or back when I was younger, I was working out and then I thought I was so strong I would be in the Olympics, right? Because I I might I you know I started working out and I thought I was gonna you know squat, uh um snatch, uh clean and jerk uh 400 pounds and be in the Olympics. So I I through research, experience, feedback from others. I'm always thinking thinking about feedback from others, always thinking it from a psychologic psychological lens, always thinking it about it from you know from friends and family. So um I I really hold in on the delusional granular thing because um you don't want to have imposter syndrome either, but you don't also want to be so elated with uh, you know, uh I'm I'm this, I'm that. So say, for example, you got popular on social media or like you got popular you're in a like for example, I'm in a TV commercial and things of that nature. You don't want to get so elated with illusions like uh, you know, I I can overcome anything. Sometimes with schizophrenia, you get so elated with uh just the tiniest bit of success in terms of like you know, getting a job, and then all of a sudden you think you're the manager or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 32:55

Yeah, I you really were on a commercial though, a TV commercial, weren't you? Could you tell us about that?

SPEAKER_00 33:01

I thought I read you were on like a TV commercial, I don't think it's in the States, but I'm on a in a TV commercial for CNN, NSBC, uh CDB, Global Use, and all the the channels that you seek knowledge, I guess, like uh what's that one discovery channel, you know, things of that nature, right? So it's by Make a Change Canada who helped me formulate uh my speaking business. And uh yeah, that's the TV commercial. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

And what was the commercial about? Was it anything about mental illness or unrelated?

SPEAKER_00 33:39

No, it was just it was kind of unrelated, which is about uh how they helped me and how their services provide uh success for others. So I'll featured with three other people, uh, two other amazing young ladies. So if you go to make a change, can the website? Um, the their stories are pretty amazing too. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:01

So where would is that available to be seen on YouTube or anything?

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Yeah, yeah. I upload it on YouTube. I think I send it to you.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

Uh I will all if you're listening. Well, obviously, you're listening. Those of you listening, I will put those links in the show notes and it'll pop up on the YouTube channel as well. We have about five minutes left. So I wonder what the what the last two basketballs are after Mimi's question, and uh then um you know what you most want to inspire people to do. So Mimi, go.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Well, my question is, you know, um, one of the things that we struggle with loving somebody who has schizophrenia, the biggest stumbling broth is this uh the anasygnose, the inability to understand that they're sick. Um, Mindy, like she said, has gone through a big change with that with her son in the last few years, but that's always the wall that you end up knocking against every time. And I'm just wondering, um, you know, it always boggles my mind when I talk to people like you who have the insight that you have, and I keep comparing that to my son and trying to understand how to break through and break in with him. And I'm just wondering from you, when you're doing your talks and when you have questions and people, other people who have schizophrenia, do you address that at all with them? Like, what what would you say? What what do you think was your entrance into having insight?

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Was it being medicated or what uh so being medicated helps, and then being able the family support helps? And the person, like my twin, it took forever for him to accept that he had schizophrenia. So it takes a while for some people. You're just gonna have to talk, talk it out. Um that's all I can say. Like, you're gonna have to like have a talk and and and and and you know, just communicate and get lucky, and and get lucky.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

I know with my son, eyes have to tread very carefully, very carefully, and you know, just drop a little insight and hope he picks it up. But he's 40 and he insists there's nothing wrong, and his deepest desire would be to not have to take medication. And but he we we've had a guest on before who talks about anasagnosia, which is the lack of insight into the illness, the worst, one of the worst symptoms of schizophrenia. And my son takes his meds because he wants to see the family, and that's what I require. And if that's why he does it, that's fine. I can't convince him. Sometimes talking it out doesn't my family did that to me too.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

They give me incentive.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

You do this, you can have some what are your last two basketballs, and then we'll um my last two basketballs.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

So this one is the moment. So I gotta last, actually leave that one to the last. So the next basketball I'm gonna talk about is you know humility, having humility. So being able to uh have humility and not get uh excited about success or you know what that looks like right now, but having humility for not only myself but for others and and and respect. And this is very last basketball I'm gonna call is the moment. And why I'm gonna call it the moment is because um, you know, like people a lot of people seem like successful and whatnot, but uh to be quite frank, uh, I'm still struggling. And and um I hope people out there stay in the moment and try and deal with whatever they're going to uh it's for themselves to just be in the moment, but also work towards tomorrow, if that's even if it's just as simple as getting up uh out of bed and making it to the to the kitchen. Because that used to all I used to be able to do, especially when I lost my twin. At the moment, right now, um quite frankly, disappointed in myself, just discover some things that you know I clearly have been doing incorrectly, and uh just hope I get through it. And um, yeah, um, you know, like uh I want to say I'm grateful for having me on here um and being your guest. And uh yeah, I mean, I'm just so grateful. I mean, who could have I had a took I got a bachelor's degree, I got a government job, I got uh jobs before in the past, I've done the sales, I've I've had friends, I've had um I was in a relationship for four years. A lot of my friends that have schizophrenia minute don't even get to be in a relationship. Um, you know, uh I've been and done things that I enjoy and have fun with. So um, you know, like I I I I don't think I have anything to be ungrateful for. Uh I think I should be just be grateful that I I live a fulfilling life. Um, I've done fashion shows, although I screwed up on the runway because I had schizophrenia. Um my partner, uh business partners, uh he owns a clothing company, so he allowed me to go do fashion shows. Um, I've met people from all over the world, uh through social media, um, like you name it. I I've done a lot, but you know, it's disappointing, but it is what it is, right?

SPEAKER_03 39:57

Uh, it's a phrase we use a lot on this show. Um you are inspiring. You are inspiring with you've got three more moms in your corner right now. We're gonna be rooting for you for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

So I hope we are rooting for all those who have the schizophrenia and whatnot.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

So that's why we're all here and we're so we're so so grateful that you want the show. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

The one thing I want one thing I wanted uh uh people listening to take away from the show. Um, I know you don't hear this a lot, but I write scripts, right? And the latest one I've been tinkering with and whatnot. I'm gonna say off the top of my head instead, um, because I've I've written it and said it so much. I hope, so this is called hope is hard work. I hope you hear the words, you're amazing. I hope you hear the words, you're talented. I hope you hear the words, you are beautiful. I hope you hear the words, you are a champion, you inspire, and you got this, and whatever it is you're going through, whatever mistake, no matter how embarrassing, no matter how uh exciting it is, satisfactory, whatever the case may be. You are a champion and you inspire. You're shot at med school, you're shot, I don't know, at your first business, you're shot at you know getting into the NBA, you're shot at just passing that exam and going on to college, you're shot at even bagging groceries at the grocery store, you're shot at I don't know, being a janitor. I was a dishwasher primarily for 15 years. You're shot at you know getting whatever goal it is in life that you want. That's that's what I want the audience to take away from this podcast. And I use basketball as a metaphor for my shot. And I hope you take a shot and be a champion and what that looks like for you, and don't get caught up with what the world uh says about you, etc. Um, the reason I mentor the the janitor and whatnot, and and and comparing it with CEOs and lawyers and things of that nature, because everyone is worthy of kindness and respect, regardless if you're homeless, regardless uh you know what you've been through with your psychosis, etc. So that's the biggest takeaway I want uh from this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 42:34

That is beautiful. That is that's just making me cry. Where can people get in touch with you? Tell us your website and your YouTube channel so we can get you some more followers.

SPEAKER_00 42:47

Okay, so you can follow me on Instagram at Hakeem Inspires. Um, the Instagram page is a bit faith-based, but it's also for non-Muslims. So you can follow me either way on Instagram at Hakeem Inspires, and then on my Facebook page, Hakeem Karim as a Yeti. Um, you can follow me there on Facebook, and then you can follow me on Twitter at Hakeem. Is it Hakeem Inspire? Yeah, Hakeem Inspires, and then you can follow me on uh YouTube. I just I just started a YouTube channel uh not long ago, and I've been pretty busy, so I don't know how to quite like I'm not very tacky in terms of uh you know uh technology-wise. So I just uploaded so it's called Hakeem Inspire. So basically, Hakeem Inspire.

SPEAKER_03 43:35

That and that's your website as well. Hakeem, it has been such a pleasure to talk with you today. Thank you so much for joining us.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 43:45

Hey, thanks for joining us for this episode of Schizophrenia Three Moms in the Trenches with Randy K, Mindy Gryling, and Miriam Feldman. To get in touch with us or to learn more about our books, please visit our websites at MiriamHenfeldman.com, mindygryling.com, or randyk.com.